Nihilism is one of those big, pretty words that commoners have no right to use or understand, and as such, I do not really understand what it means. To me it has something to do with "nothing", except that it also has to do with "the big picture". So in the big picture, the big christian picture, I have this feeling, this sensation, that there is a whole lot of nothing.
Continuing to butcher philosophical notions, there is one I think Blaise Pascal describes as mans' position between the infinitely big and the infinitely small. In between microcosmic and macrocosmic entities I exist, along with my perception of the world and my broken understanding of nihilism, and my disjointed attempts at employing the most basic of logical bricks to make conclusions. As such, I hope that whoever reads this does not think of it as my immutable position on the subject but an ongoing discussion about nothing more than a sensation, a thought, a reflection.
Anyway, my "thesis", or point I am trying to make, since I haven't made it clear yet, is this: Christian Nihilism is greater, deeper, stronger than Atheistic Nihilism. Jesus went up into the sky and now the world feels lonelier than if he had never existed at all. If God did not exist, then maybe infinity wouldn't exist. Maybe the macrocosmic wall against which he resides would not exist, and then the closest thing to "meaning" would be here, in a human-centered universe. Nihilism does not believe that there is any meaning to anything, but at least there isn't a meaning to everything that is infinitely far from us.
As for sin, nihilism simply says that it does not exist, and thus, I guess, looks to other, more morally ambiguous ideals like beauty, or self-determination. Christian Nihilism, on the other hand, has a strong array of ideals and distinctions between what is wrong and what is right. But, unlike atheist nihilism, it is "ok" (technically not) to break the rules, because of God's grace. And so whereas an atheist might pursue fully his ideals for the sake of his own happiness and well being, a christian will half-heartedly pursue the ideals of God, knowing that it is "ok" if he falters. Thus a pattern can develop, a way of existing can form, built around the idea that there are certain values that must be pursued, but that they don't really have to be pursued all the time, that the christian can have times, weeks, years, of self-indulgence, all the while conceding that the end goal lies elsewhere, that he can begin on the path of righteousness all over again, and again, and still reach the kingdom of God.
Another quality of christian nihilism is concession. Humans are flawed, and it is inevitable that even christians have to concede to certain things from time to time, because of the way that society or science changes. (Of course, things like love and generosity are never gone.) The first example that comes to mind is dancing, which was widely forbidden in christian circles for a while, at least in America I think, but which is now generally accepted. It is a weak example (David danced, after all), but I begin to anticipate trends of the future, living in fear of being backward and behind the times, ready to concede that, say, polygamy or drawing pentagons is not a sin. And so the moral ground I walk on in a purely idealistic sense (as in - these are the values I proclaim to be true) is faulty almost to the point of nonexistence. There are a myriad of hills I am not ready to stake my flag or die on.
And so I tread softly over the surface, waiting for the world to occupy whatever territory they want. And I, for the most part, give it to them gladly: science and progress and kindness are the flags they carry.
I remember hearing someone talk on a podcast about how they broke up with their husband because she realised she wasn't sexually satisfied, and so now she is sleeping around. Within myself, I am silently cheering for her, for pursuing that beautiful nihilistic dream of self happiness, for her courage and self-honesty. At the same time, I take a step back from myself, acknowledging that my reaction is wrong, divorce is wrong, and I am wrong for feeling sympathetic.
I remember a dramatic and years long tale of love and loss, that, as far as I am concerned, started when I told a friend that grace covered his sins, and that he didn't have to feel bad for dating someone new, someone who, as far as I could tell, crashed and burned their relationship that had taken so much work and grace to build in the first place. It is one of those tales that I look back on and still wonder what the moral of the story was. I was a spectator, so for sure maybe the moral isn't mine to behold. But I still think about it, maybe because I've never been in a relationship myself. Should they have tried harder? Should they have never dated in the first place? I guess it doesn't matter anymore.
What if aids are cured? What if taking certain drugs turns out to be healthy? What if it is discovered that the earth is not at the center of the universe? What if the water levels get too high and we have to relocate to a new planet? Didn't Jesus say something like "I will come back?" So will christians stay on earth, floating on the surface? Or will they make another concession and relocate, bibles in hand?
Continuing to butcher philosophical notions, there is one I think Blaise Pascal describes as mans' position between the infinitely big and the infinitely small. In between microcosmic and macrocosmic entities I exist, along with my perception of the world and my broken understanding of nihilism, and my disjointed attempts at employing the most basic of logical bricks to make conclusions. As such, I hope that whoever reads this does not think of it as my immutable position on the subject but an ongoing discussion about nothing more than a sensation, a thought, a reflection.
Anyway, my "thesis", or point I am trying to make, since I haven't made it clear yet, is this: Christian Nihilism is greater, deeper, stronger than Atheistic Nihilism. Jesus went up into the sky and now the world feels lonelier than if he had never existed at all. If God did not exist, then maybe infinity wouldn't exist. Maybe the macrocosmic wall against which he resides would not exist, and then the closest thing to "meaning" would be here, in a human-centered universe. Nihilism does not believe that there is any meaning to anything, but at least there isn't a meaning to everything that is infinitely far from us.
As for sin, nihilism simply says that it does not exist, and thus, I guess, looks to other, more morally ambiguous ideals like beauty, or self-determination. Christian Nihilism, on the other hand, has a strong array of ideals and distinctions between what is wrong and what is right. But, unlike atheist nihilism, it is "ok" (technically not) to break the rules, because of God's grace. And so whereas an atheist might pursue fully his ideals for the sake of his own happiness and well being, a christian will half-heartedly pursue the ideals of God, knowing that it is "ok" if he falters. Thus a pattern can develop, a way of existing can form, built around the idea that there are certain values that must be pursued, but that they don't really have to be pursued all the time, that the christian can have times, weeks, years, of self-indulgence, all the while conceding that the end goal lies elsewhere, that he can begin on the path of righteousness all over again, and again, and still reach the kingdom of God.
Another quality of christian nihilism is concession. Humans are flawed, and it is inevitable that even christians have to concede to certain things from time to time, because of the way that society or science changes. (Of course, things like love and generosity are never gone.) The first example that comes to mind is dancing, which was widely forbidden in christian circles for a while, at least in America I think, but which is now generally accepted. It is a weak example (David danced, after all), but I begin to anticipate trends of the future, living in fear of being backward and behind the times, ready to concede that, say, polygamy or drawing pentagons is not a sin. And so the moral ground I walk on in a purely idealistic sense (as in - these are the values I proclaim to be true) is faulty almost to the point of nonexistence. There are a myriad of hills I am not ready to stake my flag or die on.
And so I tread softly over the surface, waiting for the world to occupy whatever territory they want. And I, for the most part, give it to them gladly: science and progress and kindness are the flags they carry.
I remember hearing someone talk on a podcast about how they broke up with their husband because she realised she wasn't sexually satisfied, and so now she is sleeping around. Within myself, I am silently cheering for her, for pursuing that beautiful nihilistic dream of self happiness, for her courage and self-honesty. At the same time, I take a step back from myself, acknowledging that my reaction is wrong, divorce is wrong, and I am wrong for feeling sympathetic.
I remember a dramatic and years long tale of love and loss, that, as far as I am concerned, started when I told a friend that grace covered his sins, and that he didn't have to feel bad for dating someone new, someone who, as far as I could tell, crashed and burned their relationship that had taken so much work and grace to build in the first place. It is one of those tales that I look back on and still wonder what the moral of the story was. I was a spectator, so for sure maybe the moral isn't mine to behold. But I still think about it, maybe because I've never been in a relationship myself. Should they have tried harder? Should they have never dated in the first place? I guess it doesn't matter anymore.
What if aids are cured? What if taking certain drugs turns out to be healthy? What if it is discovered that the earth is not at the center of the universe? What if the water levels get too high and we have to relocate to a new planet? Didn't Jesus say something like "I will come back?" So will christians stay on earth, floating on the surface? Or will they make another concession and relocate, bibles in hand?
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